10.36, lol. that part's awesome.
i've added a couple of bits & pieces. i'm going to work on either adding in felicity always calling axe tom instead of axe & tom getting all hardman about it because tom just isn't hardcore enough... i'm also thinking on a scene where annette has an inner battle about fancying r. still thinking about how to work this in so any comments on that are cool, & also any comments on the additions :)



Another scene. Felicity (nee Michelle) and Rupert and another moment of sexual confusion.

They are all in the kitchen. Rupert picks up a leaflet for a “School Disco” night that is taking place at Sludge, Chester’s “coolest nightspot”.

R: Hey guys, check this out, free drinks until 10.36!!! 10.36…?

A: (loftily) Is that the School Disco leaflet? God, couldn’t they come up with something less original? Who wants to go to a hall full of drugged up - (all students chorus remainer of sentence together as they've heard her say this so many times before already)under-sexed neanderthals gyrating against each other to remove themselves fleetingly from their cesspit of loneliness? (A. now looks both slightly hurt & disgusted & lifts her copy of the Big Issue higher to hide her distress)

R: Well, it sounds like it might be fun, Annette, why don’t we give it a go? We can drink, dance, meet new people…

S: It sounds totally fucking lame. Let’s go to… to… to… ah, ah… CHOO! (he sprays snot all over Rupert’s face just as F walks in, all sexy like. Rupert sits, unable to quite believe what has happened. Annette laughs and Stephen wipes his nose on the back of his sleeve).

S: Fucking FEBREZE?! Who’s been using it?! Come on… own up! I can smell it a mile off! Ahh… ah… (they all duck under the table, except for Rupert who is just a little too slow due to intense F perving. He gets another faceful).

R: Jesus Christ, Stephen! (he scrapes the snot off his face and attempts to flick it towards the bin. His aim is poor, and it lands bang smack in the middle of F’s skirt). Oh God, Felicity I’m so sorry! Here, can I…? (he rushes over with a towel & starts patting her skirts in fits & bursts of apology whilst realising at intervals how inappropriate this is - stuck in an interminable cycle of patting & speaking gibberish in embarrassment) (A. snorts behind her BI)

R on own: God, I am a prize fuckwit. Mind you, I know who’d come second (shoots look at Stephen).

F: It’s OK, really (she looks pained and wipes off the snot). Let’s have a look at that leaflet then. (she is wearing full riding gear, with tight white shirt encasing country air-inflated-bosom. She brushes them past R’s nose and he goes cross eyed with pleasure. F is seemingly unaware and tries to rouse him into conversation re: the school disco. His reverie is only broken by Tom banging the door open).

T: Axe men! (And chicks!) The Axe Man is Back! Been grinding those power chords today and I’m ready for MEAT! (he throws open the fridge door. Annette looks up in disgust from her “Big Issue”).

A: How can you eat that filth?! You’re contributing to an industry that condones shoving several living things into a container barely bigger than this room and preparing them for a bloody and unjust death. I for one wouldn’t… (T interrupts).

T: Hey guys! Who wants burgers?! (he holds an ancient frozen packet of mince aloft and everybody cheers.) (To A) No offence, babe, I know you’re all into this peace and harmony to all God’s creatures shit but I got a hankering for some of the bloody stuff. Axe needs MEAT. (He begins to prepare the burgers noisily and messily).

A: (eyes brimming) Whatever, Tom… (Axe flinches) everyone… you’re freaks (she throws the Big Issue down)… all of you, FREAKS!!! (she runs out crying and slams the door).

T: (shouting in an overcompensatingly manly way) You can call me Axe, babe, everyone else does!

A: (faded through the door) ASSHOLE!

T: Not quite babe, but you’ll get it! Now, who wants relish?